Witty Definitions

I regret that I cannot give credit to whoever came up with these entertaining definitions, but they're just the thing for a literary nerd (not geek, not dork) like me. Enjoy.

Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having aflat stomach. [too true]

Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. [funny if cliched]

Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. [bizarrely clever]

Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. [not quite funny but kinda cute in a little puppy with big eyes kinda way]

Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumedby a proctologist immediately before he examines you. [nice]

Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxershorts. [oh, is that what it's called]

...and my favorite of the day:

Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die,your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. [I think I've found my new faith!]

Got any more you particularly like? (I have read more but these are my momentary faves.)